Soooo...F my little F***BUDDIES is for FABULOUSNESS!!!!!!!!

I'm thinking Ferragamo= fantastically luxurious Italian accessories and Fendi= famous for baguette handbags (designed by our darling Karl Lagerfeld)- I can only dream.

Let me tell you a few more of my 'FAVOURITE THINGS' (all together now!)

Shiny new lipglosses

Tackle on toyboys

Sparkling stilettos

And a vintage red Rolls Royce

The gleam of the sun

On my diamond earrings

These are a few of my favourite things!

I would like to put a word in for fast-living women- women who fly by the seat of their Frankie Morello pants. These good-time gals are easily recognisable by their hectic social lives and careers sometimes combined with kids whilst they still look FABULOUS!...Yummy mummies are sooo cool. Their appearance is gorgeous- stylish and yet still fun and sexy- This is the category my friends are in. Keep chic ladies!

F is possibly my Favourite letter; I'm thinking Fantasies- both sexual and material, Fetish (Oh for a man with a foot-fetish-the shoes! The SHOES!), and filth. We all need a little filth from time to time and if you tried Erotic Art (SEE E) you'll have realised that even kid's paint doesn't wash off easily. Here's to mouldy looking breasts and nipple prints -courtesy of TB who gladly joined in the paintathon!

For a true Fashiontastic film watch 'Coco before Chanel' and delight in the thought of a chic monochrome wardrobe!

Before I go.. Brush up on your French, whisper 'embrace moi' to your lover and see if it causes a stirring in the trouser section.

The Erection section...How often are we deceived by men's packets? There are many guides to size, I personally have tried guessing from the look of hands and feet, nose and many other ways... Let me know your tricks for estimating the erection! I suppose the only surefire way is to get up close and slow dance. Unless a friend can give a reference.

Finally, E is for Equal opportunities Employer. Be one- step out of your safety zone when dating. Try someone older/younger/richer/poorer. Don't always stick to your usual types- you may be pleasantly surprised by them (and let me know if the estimated erection plans work!)

If we are trying to be elegant I would advise against taking up extreme sports. My friend 'V' recently went BMXing- how elegant did she look with her black eye when she fell off? Not very!

E is for engagement rings...how many is too many? Start a collection, even if you never have to sell them you can have the stones re-set into a necklace or bracelet.

Under E we must find a little time for Erotica- both art and literature- read some Nancy Friday and discover a world of fantasies or create some erotic art yourself.

E is for...

E is for elegance. Get swept away by the spirit of the 1940s and 1950s and admire the wonderful swimming costumes worn by Esther Williams. note how her maquillage remains perfect after swimming under water! See how she smiles as she glides through the bubbles!

Watch Esther 's swimming sequences at http://www.youtube.com/watchv=sGMoRHq_pMY . Whilst we're being elegant listen to some Ella Fitzgerald; the lady sounds like Silk Cut and honey. Slip on some elbow-length gloves and bright red lipstick- FABULOUS!

We need to have beautifully smooth and glowing skin so don't forget to Exfoliate. Try mixing olive oil with fine brown sugar, stand in the bath whilst rubbing the mixture in a circular motion. Rinse off in the bath for sexy skin!

Create an evening of Enchantment- re-read 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' and wish you were Titania - Queen of the fairies- design her a dress!

D is for Dressing up for sex. It's fun and free (if you make your outfits)! May as well give it a go. It doesn't have to be a particular theme (although I favour French maid, nurse and dominatrix). It works just as well in a see-through nightie or even just knickers and heels. And what's stopping the blokes? Get your man to be a Dr.Satisfaction or a Fireman Sam, he could even be Burglar Bill and surprise you in the bath! Don't be shy because D is all about daring and desire.

DHA skincare from Japan- gorgeous products based around olive oil- the great thing is you get free samples each month if you sign up to the magazine. I'm loving the cleansing powder and soap.

DIVINE GODDESS_DITA VON TEESEI really can't fault her style; that alabaster complexion, scarlet lips and air of grown-up sensuality is to die for.

D is for depressed, if your'e feeling a little dismal go to Wicks hardware store. No seriously they have the funniest section called door furniture- how elegant is that a word for handles???!!! Makes me laugh every time!

Dirty nails- quicker to polish them than wash up!

Dirty talk- do it do it do it! Always use darling, or a similar term of endearment- don't muddle up the names for Christ's sake!

Dirty texts- encourage these and send them back...WARNING don't send pictures that show your face. A glimpse of your curves is far more discreet yet still desirable.

Dirty underwear- some men like the thought of this. Good to know that if we're ever destitute we can sell our knickers on ebay!

The duchess of D's

Darlings!

Are we not delightful today? Do we not dazzle ourselves when we spy our reflection in a mirror or shop window? D may well be for delirium and drab but not when we're in town!

D is for Dancing- both Disco (Saturday Night Fever) and Dirty- nobody puts baby in the corner...Nor do they put US in a corner. Not unless they're very brave.

D is for Dangerous Men; checklistbelow:

Eyes- either slightly glazed with too much alcohol or staring intently at you--think snake and mouse, spider and fly, me and vodka. (All the better to see you with)

Clothes- dark, usually black, battered leather jacket, jeans

Natural Habitat- dingy dirty nightclubs (all the better to feel you)

Accessories- cigarettes, whisky, rum, condoms, confidence, a certain sexy stance, an ability to dance, guitar

Mouth- sulky, petulant, generally full lips hiding surpisingly good teeth (all the better to eat you with). One flash of those gleaming gnashers and you're hooked- you'll do anything for another look- BEWARE OF THE DARK SIDE!

Sex Appeal- 100% Need I say more? these men are dangerous, so why do we fall for them? My advice would be to just do it. Get it over with and when they turn out to be a louse- lose 'em.

However...some men look dangerous when actually they are darlings. Johnny Depp- say no more except lucky Vanessa. My very own TB had this edge to him when we first met in a dark and sleazy club, I was hoping for a night or three of pure filth...I'm still getting it 7 months later.

D is for diamonds. Think Marilyn in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. 'A kiss may be grand but it won't be the rental on your humble flat, or help you at the automat'...We all need them if only to pawn when the going gets tough. Invest at once!

D is for Divorce- it's not so bad! Look at Liz Taylor! It's also for DANGER DANGER HIGH VOLTAGE both the signs and the song (Electric Six) I love these signs, maybe I should get one for the front of my house?

Dresses and dinner dates. Be sure you always have one daring dress ready to wear for your dates. You just never know when you'll need it. If your broke, try one of yours on backwards or add loads of beads and leggings then hitch it up with a belt.

CIGARETTES

How could I forget? C is for CIGARETTES...Always cool. How many do I smoke? As my great aunt once said 'as many as I can afford!