B is for bootie- both shaking it and stealing it, pirate fashion. B is also for brave.. be brave in your fashion choices and don't be a follower. Celebrate your own style!

We can't forget Boyfriends. A list of requirements for the perfect boyfriend follows:

1. Must treat you like a princess/goddess at all times

2. Understands that you are higher than a usual mortal and must act accordingly

3. Groinage to be largish

4. Wallet to be open

5. Needs a willingness to cook and clean- I'm not talking lavatory licking- just general housey stuff

6. He is to be trained in the art of unselfish pleasure...if you know what I mean

7. Looks, sense of humour, style etc to be left to individual girlfriend to choose but should feature

(My Boyfriend has just completed his initiation period and is now enjoying training stage 1. TB is shaping up nicely. He still has a few rough edges to smooth out (ie. Doesn't always automatically walk road side to protect me from carriage splashes) but I have reason to believe he will achieve a high standard of boyfriend when training is complete.)

B is also for Balenciaga, check it out.

Best friends- everyone needs one. Make sure yours is Better than anyone else's.

DESIRABLE QUALITIES IN A BEST FRIEND INCLUDE:

A closed mouth- we don't want our friends telling our secrets after 10 too many vodkas do we??? (Hint to mine- zip it!)

A willingness to party like a crazy freak

A desire to exchange clothes and make-up regularly (never choose a best friend who has a different size shoe- pure madness will follow when you swap on a night out. You don't want to have to carry scissors to create peep toes now do you?)

An easy to remember telephone number

An incredible imagination- when you're going to be 'late' home she is the one who'll be ringing to advise your boyfriend that you're in casualty with a broken ankle and won't be home til Monday

Note to my best friend...you are utterly fabulous and a true rocking friend (even when you spill the beans about our adventures!)

B is for Bondage. Try it it's fun. Make sure you use sex tape as it's easy to get out. Not recommended for first dates- check he's not a total freaking psychopath before you're handcuffed to the bed. Don't forget to have a safe word- Ken Dodd would be mine.